It is my hope to build a number of tiny self-contained off-grid guest cottages and include a prayer apse like the one we built in our chapel, in each one.

To learn more about ferrocement: Understanding Ferrocement Construction

From google:
"A prayer apse or eastern prayer niche in a monastic cell functioned as a private, dedicated focal point for an individual monk's or hermit's daily devotions, mirroring the larger architectural apses of community churches. These sacred alcoves feature in early Christian and Byzantine ascetic settlements, such as the excavations at Kellia in Egypt and recent discoveries in Upper Egypt.
​
Architectural and Spiritual Significance Orientation: Positioned on the eastern wall of the cell's oratory or prayer space, orienting the solitary ascetic toward the rising sun and the traditional direction of Christ's return during private prayer.
Design: Formed as a small semicircular or horseshoe-shaped structural recess or niche carved into stone or built with mudbricks.

Decoration: Frequently ornamented with painted or incised crosses, geometric Coptic patterns, or frescoes of Christ in blessing, saints, and symbolic animals like fawns or gazelles.

Function: Separated the area of canonical prayer and prostrations from the adjacent secular zones used for sleeping or manual craftwork.

The PDF version of this talk/book is available for download below:

A printed version is available for sale here.

​I have come to the realization after writing this talk in preparation for the Saint Kosmas Orthodox Education Conference, that our children will not have the same advantages and opportunities that we have had. Property prices are going through the roof in many areas of the country and it is becoming increasingly difficult for young families to own a home. As a consequence, such families may be forced to live in an apartment and this will have serious consequences in their choices regarding their family size and how they will raise and educate their children. 

At the same time, for those of us reaching retirement age, our investments are looking increasingly at risk, whether it is due to inflation, market instability, or other extenuating factors. 

I have a suggestion, that we older Orthodox consider investing in land. It is by far, the safest investment available to us. And then we can potentially found Orthodox communities by providing property ownership opportunities at a better price to young Orthodox families where there might not be options otherwise. In addition, in a calamity, land can always potentially provide food and shelter. We can also potentially plant missions or monasteries in more remote locations to support such communities. If approached carefully, it could be a win/win solution to a rapidly growing problem.

If anyone is interested in this idea, please contact me at paideaclassics@gmail.com.

​Thank you.

​An Excerpt from Spiritual Awakening
​St. Paisios the Athonite



— Geronda, what books should be read by those who are beginning their spiritual search?

— First, they should read the New Testament to learn the meaning of Christ, to be shaken up a little; later they can read the Old Testament. Do you know how hard it is when they have read nothing and yet they come to ask for help? It is like an elementary school child going to a university professor and saying, “Help me.” What can the professor tell him? “One plus one equals two”? Others, again, are not spiritually restless; they come and say, “Father, I have no problems and I am just fine; I only dropped by to see you.” Man can never say that he has no problems, no concerns; he will have something. The struggle for the spiritual life never ends. Or some people come and tell me, “Tell us spiritual things.” It is as if they went to the grocery store and said, “Give us some groceries.” The grocer is at a loss and needs to know what they need. They need to say, “I want so much sugar, so much rice, and so on, but they only say, ‘Give us groceries.’ “It is like going to the pharmacy and saying, “Give us medicines,” without first saying what their illness is, or whether or not they went to the doctor, and what he advised them to do. Go figure! You see, whoever is seriously concerned over his spiritual condition knows, more or less, what he is lacking, and once he seeks it, he benefits. 

As a novice, when I read something I liked, I wrote it down so as not to forget it, and I would try to apply it to my life. I didn’t readjust to pass my time pleasantly. I had a spiritual restlessness and, when I could not understand something, I would ask for an explanation. I read relatively little, but I checked myself a great deal on what I read. “What point am I at? What must I do?” I would sit myself down and go through such a self-examination. I did not allow what I read to pass me by untaxed. 

Today with so much reading people end up like tape recorders, filling up their cassettes with superfluous matters. According to Abba Isaac, however, Wisdom not based on righteous activity is a deposit of disgrace. [1] You see, many who are interested in sports read sports magazines and newspapers while they are sitting. They may be like the fatted calf, but they still marvel at the athletes. “Oh he is marvellous! He is great! Bravo!” But they don’t work up any sweat, and they don’t lose any pounds. They read and read about athletic events, and then they go and lie down; they gain nothing. They are satisfied with the pleasure of reading. Some worldly people read newspapers, others romantic literature or an adventure novel, still others watch a football game at the stadium and pass their time. The same thing is done by some people who read spiritual books. They may spend the whole night reading spiritual books with great intensity and be content. They take a spiritual book, sit comfortably, and begin reading. “Oh, I profited from that,” they say. It would be better to say, “I enjoyed myself, I spent my time pleasantly.” But this is not profit. 
​
We profit when we understand what we read, when we censure ourselves and discipline ourselves by applying it: “What does this mean? Where do I stand in relation to this spiritual truth? What must I do now?” After all, the more we learn, the more responsibility we have to live up to what we have learned. I am not saying that we should not read so that we can plead ignorance and therefore be free of responsibility, for this is a cunning deception; I am saying that we should not read merely to pass our time pleasantly. The bad thing is that if someone reads a lot and has a strong memory, he may remember many things and may even talk a lot about what he has read, and thus deceive himself into thinking that he also personally observes the many things he reads. So he has created an illusion toward himself and others. So don’t be comforted by the thought that you read a lot. Instead, turn your attention to applying what you have read. Much reading alone will only educate you encyclopaedically. Isn’t that what they call it? 

— Yes, Geronda.

— The goal, however, is to be transformed in a God-centred manner. I am not aiming to be a university professor where I would need to know many things. But if I ever need something from this worldly knowledge, I can easily learn it once I have acquired the God-centred knowledge. Do you see what I mean? 

— When one has a distraction, is it beneficial to concentrate through study?

— Yes, one should read a little, something very demanding, in order to warm the soul. This keeps distractions and concerns under the lid, and the mind is transposed into a divine realm. Otherwise, the mind is diverted by whatever task is preoccupying it. 

— Geronda, when someone is tired or upset, he usually wants to read something light and easy, a short story or a novel, perhaps, or something like that.

— Is there no spiritual book that is appropriate for such times? The purpose is not to forget one’s worry, but to be redeemed. Such light reading does not redeem. Novels, newspapers and television have no value in developing a spiritual life. Quite often even some religious periodicals are damaging to Christians, because they stir a foolish zealousness that leads to confusion. Take care. Do not read unnecessary things during your free time. Some reading matter is completely hollow, like a water-pumpkin; it is like looking in a haystack to find a kernel of wheat. Some people say, “Yes, but they relax me.” But how can they be relaxing, my good man, if they make you dizzy and cause your eyes to ache? It is better to rest by sleeping. You can learn much about a person’s spiritual state from what he reads. One who is very worldly will probably be reading indecent magazines. One who is less worldly will read less indecent magazines and newspapers. One who is religious will read religious periodicals, or contemporary religious books or patristic texts, and so on. 

— Geronda, which spiritual books are the most helpful?

— The various patristic texts, which thank God are available by the thousands today, are very helpful. One can find whatever one needs and desires in these books. They are authentic spiritual nourishment and a sure guide on the spiritual path. However, in order to be of benefit to us, they have to be read with humility and prayer. Patristic texts reveal the inner spiritual condition of the soul, much as axial tomography reveals the inner structures of the body. Each sentence of the patristic texts contains a multitude of meanings, and each person can interpret them according to their own spiritual state of being. It is better to read the ancient text rather than a translation, because the translator interprets the original verse according to his own spirituality. In any case, in order to understand the writings of the Fathers one must constrain oneself, focus and live spiritually, for the spirit of the Fathers is perceived through and by the spirit only. Especially helpful are the Ascetical Homilies by Saint Isaac the Syrian, but they must be studied slowly so that they can be assimilated little by little as spiritual food. The Evergetinos is truly of great benefit, because it gives us insight into the Whole spirit of the Holy Fathers, it is helpful because it describes the struggles of the Fathers against each and every one of the passions, and, by learning how they worked on the spiritual life, the soul is greatly assisted. Also, the Synaxaria, the Lives of the Saints, are sacred history and very helpful, especially for young people, but they should not be read as stories. 
​
We do not need great knowledge to be devout. If we concentrate and meditate on the few things we know, our heart will be spiritually embroidered. One may be profoundly affected by a single hymn, while another may feel nothing, even though he may know all the hymns by heart, as he has not entered into the spiritual reality. So, read the Fathers, even one or two lines a day. They are very strengthening vitamins for the soul. 
St. Paisios the Athonite
11/22/2009

From Spiritual Awakening, Vol. II in the Spiritual Counsels series by Elder Paisios of Mount Athos (Souroti, Thessaloniki, Greece: Holy Monastery "Evangelist John the Theologian", 2008), pp. 109-114.
https://orthochristian.com/32840.html

There is a common idea in educational circles that children need to read more. That if we can
just get kids to read more, several educational problems will go away. Kids will learn to spell.
They will learn to write. They will be able to take standardized tests, allowing us to quantify
their learning. This leads to all sorts of reading campaigns. You have seen the big posters with
Wonder Woman, Yoda, or Cookie Monster on them, with “READ” written in giant letters across
the bottom. Most educators assume that it doesn’t really matter what the child reads, as long
as they read something. However, while reading is generally beneficial, we should not let our
eagerness to see our kids read distract us from scrutinizing what they read.
Because not every book is worth reading.

Perhaps every book will help your child to build their fluency, which is the ability to read
quickly, accurately, and with expression. Is fluency the only goal or is it the most important
goal? Of course not. We want to help our children develop language skills, but more
importantly we want to help them develop healthy attitudes, morals, and souls. Every book
they read will have an impact on their intellectual, emotional, and spiritual development.
Therefore, we must be vigilant about which books we allow our children to read.  Increasingly,
children’s books are becoming a common means of exposing our children to ideas that directly
assault our faith and morals. Some children’s books have become so vile that it would be better
for your child to be illiterate than to read them. We must realize that every book we read has
an impact on us, whether we notice it or not. Stories are not read and forgotten; they stay with
us. We lie awake at night thinking about them. We identify with characters and try to emulate
them. We talk like them. Spend two weeks reading Jane Eyre and you will be different. Spend
another two weeks reading Fifty Shades of Grey and you will again be different. Too often we
underestimate the impact of books on our children.  I know a twelve year old child, a Christian
homeschooler, who after reading Percy Jackson, began to think she was a demigod of ancient
Greece. Why does this happen? Simply stated: we are not attentive to what our children are
reading and thinking.

We must be attentive to the thoughts of our children. And we must realize that the books we
read have a profound influence on thoughts. All books are not equal. Some books are holy,
some books are helpful, some books are harmful, and some books are evil. If you want your
child to grow physically healthy, you must be attentive to what they eat. You try to load their
plates with healthy, nutrient-dense foods, superfoods. Occasionally, you allow sweets,
hopefully sweets that are still somewhat healthy. But you absolutely cut out toxic “foods” like
twinkie and sodas, so common in today’s markets. And what insane person would allow their
child to take poison? We must begin looking at books in the same way. Your children need
healthy books to grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. How do we identify the
healthy books today?

First, The Whole Story. In whole stories good is good, bad is bad, and good wins. Whole
stories are uplifting. You see protagonists who overcome their struggles. The bigger their
struggle, the greater the joy when they overcome it. Take, for example, Corduroy. He feels so
lost and alone at the big department store. He knows he is missing something, but what? Then
one day Lisa comes to take him home and for the first time he realizes what he always wanted:
a friend. This level of conflict is just right for a young child; there is no need for big scary
zombies or monsters. Just a small, winnable battle over loneliness. As children grow, the
tension and conflict grow with them, always ending in a victory. Will Wilbur be saved from the
slaughterhouse? Will Oliver Twist escape from the evil Fagan and find his family? Will Jane Eyre
resist sin and still find authentic love? Yes, they all overcome in the end. These stories are
especially needed now as our culture becomes more negative, sarcastic, and depressed. Most
older picture books and classic children’s books are whole stories. 

The next story type is the Healing Story. In these stories, good is good, bad is bad, and good
wins, but not in the way you expect. One of my favorite stories from this category is the Little
Match Girl by Hans Christian Anderson. In this story, a poor, young girl is on the streets of
London on a snowy, freezing New Year’s Eve and she is trying to sell her matches. If she doesn’t
sell the matches, she will be beaten by her father when she returns home. One by one she
lights a match so she can warm herself. She begins having these beautiful visions of food and
warmth, and the final one is of her departed grandmother, the only person who ever loved her.
Her grandmother starts fading away as the match burns out, and she frantically lights all of the
matches and has a vision of being welcomed into heaven. The last paragraph is about the
Londoners finding her frozen, lifeless body on the street in the morning.  This story is both beautiful and tragic. It is a healing story: good wins, but not in a worldly sense. These stories
remind me of the martyrdom of the saints. There is hidden triumph -- good wins, but not
everyone can see it. It helps children learn that even if bad things happen, we can have faith
that God sets all things right in the end, though we perhaps cannot see it yet.

Now we come to the Broken Story. In broken stories, good is good and bad is bad, but bad
wins. In general, these would be cautionary tales. Pinocchio is a good example. Andrew Pudewa
tells the story that when he was reading this to his son, his wife overheard the really weird
parts and asked if he should be reading this to their son. He said he was not quite sure but that
he thought it had some redemptive quality. The next night when they are reading, and of
course the book is just Pinocchio doing one dumb thing after another, and Pinocchio is about to
do another dumb thing, and his son yells out, “No Pinocchio ! Don’t do it!” Andrew says that in
that moment, he realized the benefit of that book is teaching kids to see the dumb things they
are about to do before they do it. You want your kids to have that internal dialogue and be able
to recognize the dumb thing and to tell themselves not to do it.  While some benefit can be
gleaned from these stories, I think you have to be careful how many of these stories they read,
especially with younger children or more sensitive children.

Our final category is Twisted Stories. In Twisted Stories, good is portrayed as evil and evil is
portrayed as good. We only find these stories in the modern world, and their numbers are
increasing rapidly. These disturbing stories should be completely avoided. They can cause a lot
of destruction in the mind of a child who is still forming ideas about the world. 
One of the literary devices that twisted stories use is the reversing of archetypes. Let’s look at a
popular children’s movie that is full of twisted archetypes, Maleficent. (All these categories can
be applied to movies and television shows as well, since they are stories too.)  As Disney
remakes their old cartoon movies as live action movies, they began changing the viewpoint of
the story. Maleficient is Sleeping Beauty told from the perspective of the evil fairy. The
character of Maleficent is telling -- her name means “doing or producing harm; acting with evil
intent.” The trailer for this movie begins when the fairy Maleficient, who was not invited to
give the new princess a blessing, comes anyway, and as the king looks on helplessly, Maleficent
curses the child to die at 16. Then on the screen in large letters we see: Now Find Out the Truth.
So, the story we have all been told by the King, who is himself an Archetype of Christ the King, is
a lie. (I am not following here – sorry! Haven’t seen the movie) This is the message of this
movie. But it gets worse: the evil fairy befriends the young princess and shadows her
throughout her childhood. Maleficient becomes “fond” of the child and reveals herself to the
princess in a garden. They become friends and Maleficent takes her to meet her band of fairies.
Then the princess asks, ‘All the other fairies have wings and can fly. Why do you not? Here is
her answer: “I had wings once, but they were stolen from me.”   Think about that. Who does
this sound like to you?  What fallen or wingless ‘angel’ has been cast out by the king, looks like
a dragon, has evil intent, meets a woman in a garden, and plans to hurt the king by hurting his
child? Who? Make no mistake, these connections are intentional. This reversal of archetypes
targets children with the normalization of evil.

Now you may be saying, “But this is just a children’s story. It’s just for fun. Does it really
matter?” Yes, it matters. When we allow children to read books that normalize or glorify evil,
we get kids who see evil things as normal, or even good.

If you look closely at the children’s bookshelves of your local library you will not see it full of the
classic literature or wholesome stories of forty years ago. You will see titles like “Goblins”,
“Demonkeeper,” “Harry Potter,” “Percy Jackson and the Titan’s Curse,” and “Goosebumps”.
That is the children’s section. The teen section is worse. The majority of the new books are
based on magic, vampires, ghosts, aliens, LGBTQAI+, abortion rights propaganda, sex, Marxism
(often dressed up as activism), drugs, self-harm, and suicide. We aren’t talking about a few
unsavory books. It’s a tidal wave. This tidal wave washes over today’s children. These are the
books at the library and at the bookstore. They are read by their friends and assigned by their
teachers. They are recommended online and made into movies. You can buy the action figure,
t-shirt, or backpack. The outcome is that our children begin to think these ideas are normal and
acceptable; their worldview is being shaped by them.
​
Parents must begin to be acutely aware of what their child is reading. Don’t be afraid to go
against the current of popular thought. Research wholesome books. Build your home library.
Ask trusted friends for recommendations and encourage one another to choose books wisely.
Don’t be satisfied that your children read; make sure they read healthy books.

ELDER PAISIOS ON SPIRITUAL STUDY
​An Excerpt from Spiritual Awakening
​St. Paisios the Athonite



— Geronda, what books should be read by those who are beginning their spiritual search?

— First, they should read the New Testament to learn the meaning of Christ, to be shaken up a little; later they can read the Old Testament. Do you know how hard it is when they have read nothing and yet they come to ask for help? It is like an elementary school child going to a university professor and saying, “Help me.” What can the professor tell him? “One plus one equals two”? Others, again, are not spiritually restless; they come and say, “Father, I have no problems and I am just fine; I only dropped by to see you.” Man can never say that he has no problems, no concerns; he will have something. The struggle for the spiritual life never ends. Or some people come and tell me, “Tell us spiritual things.” It is as if they went to the grocery store and said, “Give us some groceries.” The grocer is at a loss and needs to know what they need. They need to say, “I want so much sugar, so much rice, and so on, but they only say, ‘Give us groceries.’ “It is like going to the pharmacy and saying, “Give us medicines,” without first saying what their illness is, or whether or not they went to the doctor, and what he advised them to do. Go figure! You see, whoever is seriously concerned over his spiritual condition knows, more or less, what he is lacking, and once he seeks it, he benefits. 

As a novice, when I read something I liked, I wrote it down so as not to forget it, and I would try to apply it to my life. I didn’t readjust to pass my time pleasantly. I had a spiritual restlessness and, when I could not understand something, I would ask for an explanation. I read relatively little, but I checked myself a great deal on what I read. “What point am I at? What must I do?” I would sit myself down and go through such a self-examination. I did not allow what I read to pass me by untaxed. 

Today with so much reading people end up like tape recorders, filling up their cassettes with superfluous matters. According to Abba Isaac, however, Wisdom not based on righteous activity is a deposit of disgrace. [1] You see, many who are interested in sports read sports magazines and newspapers while they are sitting. They may be like the fatted calf, but they still marvel at the athletes. “Oh he is marvellous! He is great! Bravo!” But they don’t work up any sweat, and they don’t lose any pounds. They read and read about athletic events, and then they go and lie down; they gain nothing. They are satisfied with the pleasure of reading. Some worldly people read newspapers, others romantic literature or an adventure novel, still others watch a football game at the stadium and pass their time. The same thing is done by some people who read spiritual books. They may spend the whole night reading spiritual books with great intensity and be content. They take a spiritual book, sit comfortably, and begin reading. “Oh, I profited from that,” they say. It would be better to say, “I enjoyed myself, I spent my time pleasantly.” But this is not profit. 
​
We profit when we understand what we read, when we censure ourselves and discipline ourselves by applying it: “What does this mean? Where do I stand in relation to this spiritual truth? What must I do now?” After all, the more we learn, the more responsibility we have to live up to what we have learned. I am not saying that we should not read so that we can plead ignorance and therefore be free of responsibility, for this is a cunning deception; I am saying that we should not read merely to pass our time pleasantly. The bad thing is that if someone reads a lot and has a strong memory, he may remember many things and may even talk a lot about what he has read, and thus deceive himself into thinking that he also personally observes the many things he reads. So he has created an illusion toward himself and others. So don’t be comforted by the thought that you read a lot. Instead, turn your attention to applying what you have read. Much reading alone will only educate you encyclopaedically. Isn’t that what they call it? 

— Yes, Geronda.

— The goal, however, is to be transformed in a God-centred manner. I am not aiming to be a university professor where I would need to know many things. But if I ever need something from this worldly knowledge, I can easily learn it once I have acquired the God-centred knowledge. Do you see what I mean? 

— When one has a distraction, is it beneficial to concentrate through study?

— Yes, one should read a little, something very demanding, in order to warm the soul. This keeps distractions and concerns under the lid, and the mind is transposed into a divine realm. Otherwise, the mind is diverted by whatever task is preoccupying it. 

— Geronda, when someone is tired or upset, he usually wants to read something light and easy, a short story or a novel, perhaps, or something like that.

— Is there no spiritual book that is appropriate for such times? The purpose is not to forget one’s worry, but to be redeemed. Such light reading does not redeem. Novels, newspapers and television have no value in developing a spiritual life. Quite often even some religious periodicals are damaging to Christians, because they stir a foolish zealousness that leads to confusion. Take care. Do not read unnecessary things during your free time. Some reading matter is completely hollow, like a water-pumpkin; it is like looking in a haystack to find a kernel of wheat. Some people say, “Yes, but they relax me.” But how can they be relaxing, my good man, if they make you dizzy and cause your eyes to ache? It is better to rest by sleeping. You can learn much about a person’s spiritual state from what he reads. One who is very worldly will probably be reading indecent magazines. One who is less worldly will read less indecent magazines and newspapers. One who is religious will read religious periodicals, or contemporary religious books or patristic texts, and so on. 

— Geronda, which spiritual books are the most helpful?

— The various patristic texts, which thank God are available by the thousands today, are very helpful. One can find whatever one needs and desires in these books. They are authentic spiritual nourishment and a sure guide on the spiritual path. However, in order to be of benefit to us, they have to be read with humility and prayer. Patristic texts reveal the inner spiritual condition of the soul, much as axial tomography reveals the inner structures of the body. Each sentence of the patristic texts contains a multitude of meanings, and each person can interpret them according to their own spiritual state of being. It is better to read the ancient text rather than a translation, because the translator interprets the original verse according to his own spirituality. In any case, in order to understand the writings of the Fathers one must constrain oneself, focus and live spiritually, for the spirit of the Fathers is perceived through and by the spirit only. Especially helpful are the Ascetical Homilies by Saint Isaac the Syrian, but they must be studied slowly so that they can be assimilated little by little as spiritual food. The Evergetinos is truly of great benefit, because it gives us insight into the Whole spirit of the Holy Fathers, it is helpful because it describes the struggles of the Fathers against each and every one of the passions, and, by learning how they worked on the spiritual life, the soul is greatly assisted. Also, the Synaxaria, the Lives of the Saints, are sacred history and very helpful, especially for young people, but they should not be read as stories. 
​
We do not need great knowledge to be devout. If we concentrate and meditate on the few things we know, our heart will be spiritually embroidered. One may be profoundly affected by a single hymn, while another may feel nothing, even though he may know all the hymns by heart, as he has not entered into the spiritual reality. So, read the Fathers, even one or two lines a day. They are very strengthening vitamins for the soul. 
St. Paisios the Athonite
11/22/2009

From Spiritual Awakening, Vol. II in the Spiritual Counsels series by Elder Paisios of Mount Athos (Souroti, Thessaloniki, Greece: Holy Monastery "Evangelist John the Theologian", 2008), pp. 109-114.

This is a favorite story of mine and can be found in volume 1 of Stories from Church History.

For those who do not have the time or energy to make felt ornaments, I suggest printing out a "​Great Lent Calendar," by Many Mercies Blog, for each child and having him or her draw a corresponding symbol on their path each day following the reading.

(Note: I do not know who wrote the forward or translated this letter)

Advice to All Christian Women, But Especially New Brides
by St. Gregory of Nazianzus (“the Theologian”)

We are in Constantinople, in 384 AD. There is a festive event taking place: the wedding of two well-known youths of that time. They are both from upper class families.

The bride, Olympiatha, is a remarkable young lady, quite wealthy and a descendant of the imperial family. She is an orphan whose uncle Prokopios (an eparch of the Imperial State that is also her protector) undertook the responsibility for all of the wedding arrangements, including the invitation list. Olympiatha is marrying a wonderful man by the name of Nevrithios who is the eparch of Constantinople and overseer of the imperial fields.

According to the historians of that time, all of the “who is who” are in attendance of the wedding ceremony, including a sizeable group of bishops. St. Gregory the Theologian (the Patriarch of Constantinople and spiritual father of the bride) is unable to be present due to personal illness. He sent a personal letter to Prokopios expressing his regrets for being unable to attend due to illness. As the spiritual father of Olympiatha, he is pleased about the wedding and passes in writing his immense joy about the wedding of the “golden Olympiatha.” He calls her golden not because of her immense family wealth but rather her golden heart that is evident in the bride’s character and demeanor. In his letter, St. Gregory refers to her as “my child,” i.e., my spiritual child; as such, he is in position to know the depth of her character and quality of her soul as no one else.

Within his letter to Prokopios, he writes that “I am next to you, celebrating the event, and with you I place the right hand of the one youth upon the right hand of the other and then both of them upon the hand of God.”

Later on, St. Gregory sends to the young bride an original wedding gift: a poem with 111 verses, written in ancient Greek and with quite old-fashioned language (even for that time). Through this gift, he passes to his spiritual daughter the wisdom of pertinent advice and thus paints the ideal type of an Orthodox Christian wife.

+ + +

My daughter,

For your wedding, I, your spiritual father Gregory, offer you this poem as a gift. And I consider it to be the best possible advice a father could offer to his beloved daughter.

Listen to me Olympiatha: I know that you desire to be a true Christian. As such, be aware that a true Christian must not only be one but she must also appear accordingly. This is why I ask you to pay special attention towards your personal appearance. You must be simple! Gold, attached to precious stones, does not add any value to women of your stature. This is even more so with make-up. It is very improper for you to alter your face, which represents an image of God, for the sole purpose of attraction and admiration by others. Know that this constitutes vanity that is unbecoming of a young lady of your character. I therefore ask that you overcome the feminine vanity that is abundant among young ladies of our time and remain simple in your appearance. The expensive and fancy dresses must remain for
those women that have no desire for the life beyond and do not know what the meaning of spiritual struggle and attainment of virtues is all about; this type of woman cannot possibly comprehend the spiritual radiance and brilliance of a life in Christ. You have aimed towards greater goals and for a higher purpose for your life. These goals demand your full and undivided attentiveness and care.

First of all, you must respect and love God and immediately after Him you must respect and love your husband in the same manner as our Lord and Savior and in accordance with the instructions of our Holy Gospel. I thus ask you, how is it possible for a woman to love her husband in this manner if she has not met, has not respected and has not loved Her Lord and Creator in this same manner?

In your marriage, fondness, affection and love must be strong and persistent for him whom God has selected to be your life partner. This man is now the eye of your life and the delight of your heart. And if you ever perceive that your husband possibly loves you more than you love him, do not take advantage of his feeling by attempting to gain the upper hand in your marriage. That is plainly wrong as it is totally against the writings of the Holy Gospel!

You must respect him and love him unconditionally, as you love God. Be aware that you are a woman and you have an important and great purpose and destiny; however, your purpose and destiny is different than that of your husband who must be the head of your household. Set aside the silliness of equality among the sexes, that some of your contemporaries preach, and attempt to comprehend the obligations of marriage. In the realization of these obligations you will discover the great patience and endurance that is necessary to fulfill your family duties; it is in this manner that you will also discover the great strength that you as a woman possess.

You must surely be aware of how easily anger overtakes men. They cannot maintain and they often appear as wild lions. It is at this exact moment that a woman must remain stronger and display her superiority. You must play the role of the lion-tamer. What does a lion-tamer do when the beast starts
roaring? He becomes even calmer than usual and through kindness and persistence he overcomes his wrath. He speaks to him kindly, in a soft but firm voice, he caresses it, he attends to it, he pets it and little by little calmness is restored.

You must never criticize, scold or become derogatory towards your husband for something that he has erred. Likewise, you must avoid any contempt towards any inaction or indecision by your husband, even when the outcome is not favorable or something that you greatly desire or consider proper. Be aware that demons are always around attempting to penetrate your household, and break up the couple’s harmonious spiritual cohabitation.

You must share everything, joys and sorrows alike. The Holy Sacrament of Marriage has indeed made all common to both of you. This is equally important towards the daily obligations and duties as they apply to running the household; it is the only way that a strong foundation will be built for your marriage. Let both of you provide your views and opinions; in the end, however, allow your husband to have the final say.

When you observe your husband to be sorrowful, share in his sorrow and provide him the needed relief;
the support of the person closest to you in moments of sorrow and despair is of great value and relief. Immediately, however, let your facial expressions become calm, clear and collected; let peace prevail upon your demeanor and forego the temptation of any thoughts of despair. The wife is the calm harbor
for the sea wave-stricken husband.

Your presence within your home is irreplaceable; you must accordingly love your home with all the cares and concern of a dedicated housekeeper. You must view it and consider it as your kingdom and you should be judicious about how often you exit its entrance. Let your husband take care of many of the outside cares and obligations while you concentrate towards those within the home.

Be extremely careful with whom you associate and the company that you keep. Be especially careful of the social gatherings that you may be participating in. Do not allow yourself to enter entertainment centers of questionable background; these represent extreme danger towards your purity and the sanctity of your marriage. These types of social interactions remove the instinct of shame, eyes cross with eyes, and once shame is not there to guard from any impropriety, the demons are able to exercise
their influence and give rise to evils of unspeakable magnitude.

On the other hand, social interactions with friends of substance and of firmly grounded spiritual state must be pursued. In this manner, words of value get implanted within you and you either benefit from them or are able to confront and resolve any weaknesses that you may recognize. Concurrently, you are able to cultivate social interests and get to know people who will benefit your household’s spiritual state.

Do not be anxious to keep company or even appear in public and in the company of others for no reason. You should instead dedicate your precious time in the company of your wiser and more prudent relatives, priests, and seriously-minded people, young and old alike.

Stay away from conceited and ostentatious women whose mind is pre-occupied with external appearances and social circles, all for the purpose of vainglory and public display. This should be the same for any men that you consider respectful and spiritual but whom your husband has not allowed toenter your home, irrespective of how highly you may regard them. For is there anything more precious for you than your good husband whom you love so dearly?

Your thoughts must aim high but you must never behave as intolerable or snobbish.

I applaud women that are known by only a few men. Do not run towards worldly feasts and celebrations, even when those are for weddings or birthdays. It is around those types of gatherings that the passions of the flesh are aroused with the many dances, the drinking, the laughter and the false joys that are capable of deceiving and misleading even the pure and the wise. Always remember that purity is extremely fragile—it is like bee wax exposed to the rays of the sun. It would be prudent to limit and at times avoid the worldly feasts, even within the confines of your own home. If we were capable of controlling the desires and many appetites of the stomach we would be well served in our struggles against the many passions of our flesh; we would be in a position to conquer them instead of being subdued by them.

Keep your face calm and collected and do not alter it with extreme laughter or with grimaces of dismay, anger or disappointment towards others. Your ears should be decorated not with pearls but instead with the sounds of proper language and with locks for all the improprieties that may enter your nous [heart] through them. Thus, whether they are open or closed your sense of hearing will remain pure.

As far as your eyes, they are the ones that display the contents of your soul. Let them be the source of blush and virgin purity that pours below your eye lashes. This way, your presence and eyesight will invoke modesty, decency and the shame of innocence to all that lay their eyes upon you, perhaps even your husband! It is best and for many reasons that you keep your eyes closed or indifferent to the events around you and you should make it a habit to always maintain your sight low.

And now for your tongue. Your husband will always be your enemy for as long as your tongue is uncontrolled, even if you are to be blessed with thousands of other talents. A foolish tongue often endangers even the most innocent of people. It is preferred to maintain quiet, even in cases that you are correct. This is because you risk the expression of an unintended improper word or characterization. No matter how greatly you desire to say a lot, it is best that you limit your words and instead choose your presence to be a quiet one.

Be attentive even of the manner that you walk; it matters greatly towards a prudent presence.
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And now pay close attention and be mindful of the following advice: You must never exemplify or maintain an uncontrollable desire for the flesh. Persuade your husband to respect the holy days of the Church and the fasting periods. This is because God’s laws are of much greater importance than the
image of God. Be mindful that the institution of marriage was established by the Son of God to aid His creation so that a balance is maintained, as some depart this world while others arrive.

If you have benefited from this old man through some spiritual words of value I ask that you keep these words and advice guarded well within the depths of your soul. In this manner, through everything that you have benefitted and through the grace of your moral stature, you will be capable of healing your excellent husband and well known politician from the evils of vainglory and pride that constantly surround him.

This is my gift and heirloom that I offer to you. And if you desire my blessing, I pray that you become a vineyard of descendants, with many children, and many children from these children, so that our God may be glorified by more of us, for it is for Him that we are born and to Him that we should aim our earthly paths.
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Your spiritual father,
+Gregory
Patriarch of Constantinople